Sunday, March 30, 2008

Damn the mess.
i'm picking up the pieces bit by bit.

first the elusive smiles i try to keep on my face.
maybe pick up the phone and call home.
maybe call my bestie too.
oh wait... before all that i need to do the laundry.
my basket's full and my wardrobe's close to empty.
perhaps get some wine. it's getting cold.
get my assignments done before the last minute.
listen to all the lectures i've missed out on and fallen behind.
book air tics out of tassie... most likely to brissy followed by a trip to gold coast.
that'll be during winter break.
confirm my plans to meet up Roy and Ian while i'm there...
and maybe go diving with YY.
perhaps meet up with the bf if he's free.
then again... i might just end up going to gold coast in the midst of my exams to ride the roller coasters with my bestie and screw the plans with everyone else.

oh right... there i go again getting ahead of myself.
back to the here and now.
first mess to clear up is this assignment due tmr morning at 10am.
i hate it.
whatever happened to loving zoology?
i still do.
i just hate doing my assignment. just now.

i'm craving for alcohol.
and i want to swear at everything!
it's tempting to lose myself for a bit.
let me.

i need a break!
...and i need some sweetness if anybody has some to spare.

oh bloody hell!

Saturday, March 29, 2008
my dreams in your absence

when the distance takes its toll.

i find myself reliving the memories we created
just to keep myself a little more sane...

the virtual flowers i find in chat histories
leaves me smiling silly at my laptop screen.
[sometimes i forget how sweet you can be]

remember that day at IKEA when you make the hand-puppet sheep nag like you do?
and you told me that i could do that whenever you nag at me on the other end of the line.
[i love it when you do silly things to make me laugh.]

making me feel safe are those times when i attempt to walk away from you
only to have you tug at my jeans reeling me right back into your arms
followed by you saying "i don't want to let you go."
[and i never want to go]

a sense of reassurance i feel as you tighten your grip on my hand when i try and pull away in the midst of a disagreement.
[when the unspoken words make a whole lot of difference]

when i can feel every distinct beat of my heart and i struggle with each breath,
i know i've lost myself in the intense yet gentleness of your eyes.
[i'll gladly lose myself with you]

those eyes that become 'cheena'-sharp at the end when you look up at me.
those well-defined beauties.
[and i just smile]

i love your ticklish laughter when it ain't suppose to be ticklish at all.
[i roll my eyes and then i laugh along]

every dessert i have now reminds me of the brownies you seduced me with.
[made me feel special]

you touched me true that night when you looked up above
and said your thank you prayer for having me in your life.
[and i feel lucky too for having you in mine]

when you bring out the craziness in me with just words,
all i want to do is climb back up your ladder.
[enough said.]

and how can i ever forget that day before i left...
you were simply amazing.

now that i am deprived of those loving touch
the assurance i get from the unspoken words
the playful kisses and tickles...

all i'm looking forward to is
a phone call
a sms
or even a virtual form of communication
and of course the next time i get to hold you in my arms again

to remind me that i'm a part of your life
that i'm being thought of
to make me feel loved
and in love.

that's all i ask for.

Monday, March 24, 2008

you know... i really want to blog about Easter camp but i am just so lazy.
and i really should be studying considering i've got quite a few assignments due after the Easter break. a week break just seems long enough for procrastinating and too short for actually getting work done. gosh i'm blabbering and i don't think i make sense.

anyway...
SSS Easter Camp!

we went to Mount Field for a 2-day 1-night camp.
the weather wasn't on our side. it started raining when we reached our mid-way point up to the summit. thank goodness there was a hut there big enough to fit the entire group of 30+ people. the temperature plunged quite a bit and we spent most of our time just huddling up with one another for warmth. i'd say it was nice. definitely beats climbing up to the top a second time [i went to recce the route before the camp so i actually completed the entire circuit just a couple of weeks back]. anyway, we heard that it was snowing at the top so lucky we didn't go all the way up. it even snowed a little at the hut when we decided to brave the rain and go back down.

ANYWAY...
the highlight of the hike for me was encountering Tassie Devil POO! that means that there's tasmanian devils roaming about in the area. although i didn't manage to spot any, the poo itself was enough to get me all excited and make my trip worth it. i also managed to identify the common wallaby poo and possum poo. due to this, word have been going around that i'm officially crazy over Shit... literally. but hey, it's cool stuff ok! if the people behind me weren't hurrying me to move along, i could perhaps have analyzed the tassie devil poo and find out what it has eaten.

Another cool stuff...
we had roti prata and chicken curry for lunch the second day of camp. yes in the middle of a chilly tassie national park... we were tossing pratas and enjoying them. yum.

sidetrack:
you know my fieldtrip... we went trapping possums?
well, we used peanut butter and oats to make a food ball for the bait.
and since then, i have been craving for peanut butter.
Argh... i was actually tempted by possum bait!
first the animals in the lab... now if the animals aren't quite suitable for eating, go for the bait.

i'm definitely going to hell for being a glutton.


now i better do some good and get work done. it's already Monday. just 2.5 more days of break till school starts. boo....

Sunday, March 23, 2008
Stranger than Fiction

Kay Eiffel: As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives.

hush...

Silence is golden they say.

i'd like to think it that way too...
for now at least.

when every word seems to unintentionally cause hurt of some sort
silence would do some good i hope.

time to piece the broken pieces.
assembling not the other party to suit me
but rather...
putting myself together to embrace the other for everything he is.

Monday, March 17, 2008

it's a land of dreams out there.
dreams awaiting to be lived out.

i lived mine out this past weekend.


Fortesque Bay

remember i was complaining about the weather? (if not, refer to previous post.)
when we drove out, i saw that the temperature was actually a whooping 38deg! no wonder it was so uncomfortably hot. but anyway, when we got to Fortesque, it was a nice warm. the weather was fantastic throughout the whole duration of the camp except for the first night when i was half-freezing in my sleeping bag. alright enough of the weather... now the cool stuff!

first night there and we went out setting possum traps. managed to trap 2 possums that very night. fun part is what follows; the tagging of the possums, weighing them, measuring the length of the tails and feet and determining what gender they were. the first possum we got was grumpy and struggling a lot, making it very hard to handle. the other one was calm and nice and it allowed us to do just about anything we wanted with it. both the possums we got that night were males and no prizes for guessing which of the 2 had the teeny weeny pair of testicles (it had a pair that was about 1cm in diameter when the average size is about 2.1cm). no wonder it's all grumpy. the other one had nothing to hide and was showing off whatever he had. a 2.3cm pair with a beautiful bushy tail and very nice feet with no signs of being bullied or being involved in a fight. according to the phD student who's doing her thesis on possums, that male was the nicest one she has seen so far. we got a hot hunky possum on the first night... not bad.

the next morning, we played detectives looking for animal tracks and poo to see what animals were running about the beach the night before. spotted some wallaby tracks, possum tracks and water rat tracks. the prints that they leave behind are really quite nice. i've got some pictures of them but unfortunately blogger does not allow me to load them up and i have no idea why. so no pictures to see until i've figured it out. i've always wanted to do things like that, you know, bird-watching, following animal tracks and things like that. however, these are things that will just bore you out if you don't know what you are looking for or can't identify them when you see them. so it's great that i get to learn these things in school, making me fall even more in love with these activities. now i can tell a wallaby track and a wombat poo when i see one.

we caught some stuffs from the freshwater stream and the marine intertidal site as well but i shan't bore you guys any further with that. we didn't catch anything worth blogging about... just the usuals.

now for my favourite activity of the entire fieldtrip! we went exploring the breeding site of a penguin colony. it's not breeding season now unfortunately but it's moulting period. so the penguins are back in their nests to moult and they usually stay for 2-3weeks without leaving the nests to feed. this means we get to see penguins! it's easy to spot their nests during this time because they'd be filled with feathers. we managed to find a few nests and penguins in their nests. the last time i saw fairy penguins was on my roadtrip and that too i saw them from wayyyy above them. with binoculars and a camera that has a 10x zoom, they still look the size of my little finger. this time... I ACTUALLY GOT TO HOLD ONE IN MY HANDS!

another thing i got to get up close to was a fur seal. it was a decomposing one though. skeleton and a little bit of fur here and there. it was nice to see the composition of the bones especially after i have seen an entire colony of them tossing about in the water at close range on my roadtrip.

now that's what i call getting a feel of nature.

i enjoyed the activities immensely but the lack of sleep, good food and clean water has deprived me of my basic survival needs.

so i'm off to get some food and rest now.

Friday, March 14, 2008
roasted!

Weather forecast:
Singapore - 23deg-27deg
Hobart - 18deg-34deg

Autumn has arrived... NOT!
it's supposed to be start of autumn here in Tassie but it is a freaking 34 degrees outside! it's crazily HOT! it's the first time in my whole 1year+ in Tas that i actually perspired walking DOWN the hill and also in the Lecture Theatre! Crazy crazy crazy!!!!!!!! there is even a fire ban all around the state (or even country) so any open fire is not allowed. just in case this whole place gets burn up.

notice all the exclamation marks? YES the heat is driving me NUTS! it's making me moody! ARGH!

it's too darn hot for Tassie!

but i suppose it's better than having it freezing cold since i'm heading out for a 3days 2 nights fieldtrip in a couple of hours time. it's my first zoology camp and i'm finally going to come in contact with animals in their natural habitat and doing zoology stuff!!! woo-hoo!!!

tell you more when i get back. =)

Thursday, March 13, 2008

if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
the future will fall in it's rightful place.
if it's not meant to be,
then blardy enjoy what you've got now!


"Is there really and occult power endowed with such an ascendancy over our nature that it can drag us along a path of disaster and misfortune? No, God has given us the light of the spirit and the touchstone of conscience that by their help we may recognise at any point and under any guise the enemy that prowls about our destiny. If we proceed with steady steps, and eyes fixed on heaven, along the path of virtue, this occult power seeks in vain to draw us into its snares. It may happen that at moments our imagination lets itself be fascinated by deceiving ghosts that to our senses put on the appearance of a menacing reality; but these ghosts are but our own thoughts, transformed by a kind of fever, which lends them strange shapes borrowed, according to our momentary mood, from the notions we have made for ourselves of heaven or of hell. .......
If your fears seize upon you again, come and shelter under my wing; I will be your good fairy. I know nothing so good as a jolly spell of laughing to put fantastic monsters to flight for ever."

--- The Sandman by E.T.A. Hoffmann

Saturday, March 1, 2008

more dissections, dissections, dissections!!!!
i am an animal lover who loves cutting up animals!

i cut up a sea urchin this time. the past year, when i did dissections, i was provided with dead animals. this time, i had to kill it myself. thank goodness it was a sea urchin. at least i do not have facial expressions and struggles to deal with. we soaked it in warm freshwater to kill it. it's spines were moving about quite a bit and then they stop. wa-la! dead sea urchin ready to be dissected. =)

my sea urchin had really nice-looking gonads which i think is what they harvest and put on sushi. yes yes... there i go again looking at my specimen and thinking about food. i am horrible but yum yum. my specimen was full of shit... literally. they are supposed to be called faecal pellets but what the heck... it's shit. well at least i know my sea urchin died matured and full with a good meal of seaweeds. my urchin died happy (or so i'd like to believe).

i love the aritotle's lantern and it's functions. in simple terms, it's the feeding instrument of sea urchins. very cool. go google it up. anyway, after my dissection, i removed the aritotle's lantern of my urchin and brought it home. unfortunately, it kinda got broken into parts while i was cleaning it. i'm still keeping it though.

i'm going to be cutting up cuttlefish!!! one of my favourite animals!!! but that'll only happen at the end of the semester. till then, i have other things awaiting to be cut up.

oh this is why i love zoology!